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Monthly Archives: November 2011

Some Updates and a Big Pat on the Back…

"Scene 20: Bad Company" by Danielle Lynn Herron

…to my talented best friend, Danielle Herron, who deserves recognition not only for her artistic talent, but her amazing talent at being a friend.  This is the kind of friend you want to have in your life time, and I’m so lucky to have her!  Last week, I approached her in a panic…”D, I gotta pitch my screenplay this weekend and I’m freaking out about the visual aids!”  She, in turn, based on a very limited portion of my screenplay, produced this wonderful interpretation.  The best part?  She goes out of her way to Fed-Ex it to me, a day before the speech.  Is she priceless, or what?  My best friend, the girl who went out of her way to talk to me in Junior High chorus about 15 years ago.  A girl, who like myself had some problems at home, and a lot of  amazing things to give this world.  I hope she realizes her talent matters.  I hope she soon realizes that she matters.  Love you, D!

I must admit that I’m also rather proud of myself lately. I have been moving right along this semester. I’ve produced a number of projects, one of which was a pitch presentation for Professional Speech, which included the above storyboard as a visual aid. I’ve got three speeches down, and two more to gut through before I am free from public speaking courses forever.  I’ve prepared a portfolio with a body of my work for presentation to my Capstone committee in two weeks, and also a 23 page proposal to create my senior project.  This is the book of poetry I talked about previously.  It took a lot of work, but I impressed the small number of people who have seen this proposal, including the COMM Division Chair, who told me it was the “best proposal she’d read.” (This semester, obviously.  I’d never assume to be the best ever)  Anyway, I’ve been accomplishing a lot, in addition to my everyday duties of diapers, parenting, and advocating for my two boys.

I sent out my application to Penn State University, in the hopes of getting accepted to their highly competitive graduate Creative Writing program.  I’ve got my fingers crossed, as I did well on my GRE’s and sent them a writing sample that I’m proud of.  Whether I am accepted or not, I am really impressed with myself for trying.  I never used to put myself out there, but I’ve learned lately that you will never succeed if you don’t try.  I’ve missed out on a lot that way.  My words of wisdom for the day: life might continually suck, but if you don’t do anything about it, I guess you’d better get used to it.   

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on November 20, 2011 in Life

 

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Call Me Cynical, but…

I’m running out of profound things to say. So this is a blog about nothing, which becomes something, which in turn becomes nothing.  And the world keeps turning, and we all keep standing still even though we are moving.  Life is funny like that, full of nothings and somethings, movings and standings.  Maybe we’re waiting for that call before we can go on.  Maybe we’re waiting for a signpost to tell us where to go.  Maybe, we’re just waiting for nothing. 

Or maybe we’re not waiting.  Maybe we’re moving and shaking, getting things done, graduating from school, Christmas shopping, cooking, raising kids, working, etc.  Maybe we’re doing all this and more.  Is the end result worth it?  When do we stop and realize that it’s all for nothing?  That it won’t matter if you published twenty novels, or painted a hundred paintings, or if you taught fifty kids, or changed five thousand diapers.  The end result is the same.  Maybe your name will be remembered and maybe it won’t.  Why does it matter?

The question of the day, my friends.  Why does it matter?  What is it about this life that keeps us hanging on?  What keeps us muddling through the muck expecting better things, when in reality nothing good comes at the end of the day?  What’s the point of trying so effing hard only to make giant leaps backward? 

Maybe we have this innate belief in the goodness of the human race (snort).  Or maybe we have an unshakable faith in the unknown.  Maybe we’ve got no faith left at all… 

The point is, whether we’re trying or waiting, we’re all just subject to the whimsies of Fate.  In the long run, nothing matters because life is this giant poker game, and we’re all just cards in the deck.  Luck of the draw, baby, and I’ll tell you something:  Fate’s got a shitty hand…

 
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Posted by on November 19, 2011 in Life

 

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Confessions of a Small Town Girl

I’m not the confessional type.  Normally, I’m bold and brash.  I’ll tell you what I think in a flat-out truthful way.  Sometimes I can come across as hard; I’m a survivor and it shows in my attitude and demeanor.  However, I have a secret, and the secret is this:

Sometimes, I feel small in this world.  There’s not one day that I feel the confidence that I display. There are things I want so bad, but inside, I can’t ever get over the feeling that I’ll never be good enough.   Most of the time, I gut through with pure grit and stubbornness.   My work ethic saves me, every time.  There’s this fire inside of me, this burning need to prove that the girl from the sticks, the one who grew up in a two bedroom trailer and wore hand-me-downs can make a difference in the world.  In my world.  The world of blue-collar jobs, and Friday night drinking.  The world where education for the sake of knowing something more, and not to get a job, is looked upon as weird.  Where I live, and honestly, the world that I love.

Yeah, I love coming from this kind of area, this kind of life-style, and this kind of background.  It’s where I’m comfortable, even though this life has its issues.  Even though I love my blue-collar world, and the people in it, I’m at odds with it constantly.  The reason?  Education.  I’m that weird girl, the good-looking redhead with the rockin’ body that spends her Friday nights at school instead of at the bar.  I’m the odd girl that talks about authors like Sherman Alexie and Tim O’Brien instead of Sandra Brown and Nicholas Sparks.  I’m the strange one who reads poetry for God’s sake!  So it’s always been, and truthfully, unless someone changes it, it’s the way that it will always be. 

Honestly, I’m still not the most educated person.  There’s a lot of things I don’t know, and there’s a lot of ways to make me feel stupid.  And, I’ve experienced every one of those ways at the hands of so-called educators who don’t realize there’s another world out there.  The one where education is actually frowned upon.  The one where opportunities for learning don’t exactly grow on trees.  I hang in there because I feel this responsibility to my world and to my talent for writing.  In a way, my talent saves me.  It gives me  a shield for the times when I don’t fit in, the times that my social graces may be lacking, and it drives me to share it with my world.

Here’s where I come to the whole point of this confession.  The other day, a friend of mine was awed by my blog post, Courage in Them Boots.  He told me, “Trish, I honestly never read, but I was amazed. You made it real.  You made it hit me.” That touched me deeply.  All of the comments, and the shares of this blog post have touched me.  Why? Am I on a narcissistic trip?  Nope… I am so touched because I am making it happen.  I am bringing my experiences to my world, and I am touching other people.  People who wouldn’t normally pick up a book are reading my stuff, and are being touched by it!  That is my dream, that is my goal, and that is my reality. 

I always said, “I want my work to MATTER to someone, the way that others’ work has mattered to me.”  My reasons are my own, but I want to matter.  Music and literature have saved my life more times than I can count, and since I’m not musically talented, I choose literature as my way to matter.  Maybe I’ll never be as famous as F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sylvia Plath, and others, but I have touched a life with my words.  I can’t explain what that means to me…

I still feel small in the world, but that’s ok.  I’ll keep the thoughts of you all with me, and that will be enough.

 
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Posted by on November 5, 2011 in Life, Writing

 

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